Like most Americans, I am addicted to refined sugar. I have been a self-proclaimed "junk food junkie" my whole life. I could down a big box of milk duds in one sitting (not the theatre size - the bigger box, the biggest one they make), go through cookies in record time or make obscenely short work of a carton of ice cream (at least one large bowl a day, when I was pregnant). I whole heartedly declared "life without ice cream would be darkness and chaos" (it's my tagline on facebook). I couldn't go a day without chocolate, candy, ice cream, oreos, m&m's, etc. I had a not-so-secret secret stash in my bedroom. I was even known to eat a bag of marshmallows when I just needed some sugar and that was all that was available. When I was sad, depressed, anxious, overwhelmed, happy, enjoying a good book or rewarding myself, I'd have some junk food. On the plus side, it never made me gain tons of weight, but I knew it wasn't good for my body, so I would try to get it "under control" on occasion. I was never successful. Sure, I could cut back a little by just not buying the stuff, but if I cut back too much then crazy things like braking out a bag of marshmallows would result. And trying to go "cold turkey" only succeeded in giving me a terrible withdrawal headache that pain meds couldn't make go away (oh, but that milkyway sure did!). I had pretty much called it a draw. I'd try to keep things "under control". I wouldn't buy the things I really struggled limiting myself on (oh, those milk duds), try to be "picky" (eating good quality junk, not cheap junk) so the calories from the junk I did eat were worth it and just be extremely grateful I'd been blessed with a metabolism that allowed me to eat all those empty calories and not gain weight.
Then, enter my car accident. And my concussion headache.
At first, I noticed that the headache was localized. Then as my brain healed, I noticed the headache was worse (or would come back) when I was stressed. Or when I didn't get enough sleep for too many days. I figured that, like my Epstein Barr symptoms, it was one more way for my body to communicate with me and for me to learn my limits (and to take better care of myself) while my brain healed. But as the months passed I began to question why it was still happening. Shouldn't my brain have healed from such a mild concussion? The EMT had only mentioned it in passing, telling me I should take it easy for a little while, since all the literature now said concussion was the big problem, not whiplash, in car accidents. After months and months, shouldn't I be back to "normal"? So, I made it an issue of prayer. I already knew I needed to do a better job of getting enough rest, getting to bed early. So, it wasn't a surprise when I felt impressed to get more sleep. What I wasn't expecting was the very strong "you can't eat sugar" feeling.
Cue the screaming.
But I knew I needed to do it, so I did. Not in a "cold turkey" sort of way... more of a "counting calories" way, only I didn't give myself a "daily allowance" of refined sugar. I just started reading labels and letting the reported sugar content help me decide whether or not to eat something. Some things, like soda, candy bars, were easy. You don't have to read a label to know they have crazy amounts of sugar. But reading labels helped me pick my junk food "replacements". For a few weeks I let myself have as many Sun Chips as I wanted. I found a high quality dark chocolate with only 5 grams per serving and let myself have a piece or two a day (less than a serving). I'd save my sugar-eating for things that were "worth it" and special, like an ice cream sandwich from my grandma or a couple of my homemade snickerdoodles. The longer I went on this low-sugar diet, the more I could taste things, discern things. I found I enjoyed foods more. Fruit tasted so delicious, flavorful and sweet. Italian was better than ever. I savored the flavors of my food, instead of subconsciously craving that sugar kick and having everything else pale by comparison. I could taste excellence. Now a little bite of cookie at an activity was enough to tell me it wasn't "good enough" to justify the sugar and I'd leave the rest untouched. I could taste the subtle differences between brands of equally dark chocolate (like a wine tester... floral overtones, and all that).
And it helped. My brain felt better. And when I'd slip up, or overdo it on my "worth it" foods, I'd feel it the next day when that spot would hurt a little. Not quite a controlled study, but enough correlation to sell me on it.
Now, months later, I've been low sugar long enough that I can clearly feel the rush and buzz from eating refined sugar. It feels a lot like caffeine does to me (I've been a no-caffeine girl for decades, so I really feel it). My head will buzz, my heart race, my limbs feel shaky. Not pleasant. I don't like it. And that little bit of treat just doesn't seem worth it. (Yes, that banana creamy I had last Monday might be my last.)
And, like every choice we make, cutting out refined sugar has had unintended consequences. Besides changing/improving my taste for food, I've lost weight. At least I think I have... you see, I never really got on the scale. We didn't have one and I didn't care what the numbers were anyway. I was happy with how I looked and felt, so it didn't matter. So, I don't have any way to tell if or how much I've lost.... but I've had people ask me about it, ask me if I've been losing weight. So I figure I must look a little different. And my clothes definitely fit differently. I struggle to find pants that fit my figure, so most of them have been baggy at the waist. But not THIS baggy....
Here's me last dressed to run last August:
And here I am last week:
Just a little bit trimmer.... and not due to exercise. (I'm really not doing good on the running, but that's for another post.) Not sure if we can attribute it to a reduced calorie intake, as I'm letting myself eat anything I want (well, except for the sugar stuff) and I'm usually doing seconds. But it looks like cutting sugar did do something....
Weight wasn't at all a part of why I cut out sugar. And I can honestly say it doesn't even make me secretly happy to have lost some weight/inches. I am just happy that I feel better and that I'm treating my body better.
And so, all I can say now is...
life without ice cream
is actually ok
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