walking

A friend of mine recently blogged about her morning walks and it got me thinking about mine.  I've been walking every morning for years.  It started as an excuse to make a friend, rather than some desire to "get in shape."  Silly, but true.  Our counselor's parting words to me were to "find a friend" - actually, it was more something along the lines of "expand my circle of support" or something, but the take home message for me was to find a friend.  And not just a casual friend, I needed a best friend.  So I looked around my life and found someone who I could find an "excuse" to spend time with... and walking did the trick.  We would go out, every morning, in almost any kind of weather, pushing our babies.  We'd push our strollers and chat.  We'd share the joys and trials we were having at the time.  We'd talk about our pasts and our dreams for the future.  We'd philosophize.  We'd solve the world's problems and sometimes our friends' problems.  And it didn't take long until I had that close friend I so needed.  She was (and still is) a great blessing in my life.  It almost broke my heart when she moved away.  But, I decided to keep on walking.  After going every morning for a couple years, it was just a part of my routine.  But now I was going alone.  That was different.  Now the exercise aspect of my walks became the priority.  I started going out earlier in the morning and pushing myself to run, since I didn't have to carry on a conversation.  Amazingly, I actually got to the point where I could run (ok, just jog) all the way from my house, to the temple and back.  It was only a couple miles, but for me it was quite the accomplishment.  I've never been a runner.  I've often said:  I can walk forever, but just don't ask me to run.  Then, I was invited to join a walking group from my ward.  They hated the idea of me out, alone, in the dark.  And, after a couple eerie experiences, I figured they were right.  The "exercise" quality of my walks wasn't as good, but "group therapy" sessions, masquerading as exercise, are always nice.  Then, our house finally came through, and we moved.  I tried for a few months to drive back up to join the ladies in my old neighborhood, but that was hard.  I was back on my own.  And that definitely influenced me when we started "shopping" for a dog.  With the move, I had lost my momentum.  I needed a dog to give me a reason - that extra motivation - to go out every day.  Plus, a dog would help me feel, and be, safe out there alone.  And Trigger has been a fabulous personal trainer.  He keeps me motivated.  With his energy level, I KNOW I'll regret it all day if he doesn't get his morning walk.  And after so many years doing this, I know I'LL feel it if I don't go.  I don't know that I get any kind of "high" from exercising, but I do feel "off" if I miss.  So we go.  Every day.  In all but the very worst weather.  We walk the neighborhoods, we walk to the temple, we walk the mountain trails.  Sometimes we run.  Not as often or as long as he would like, I'm sure, but that his job - to look at me with those eyes and say "can't we PLEASE keep going?" but then stay right with me, whether I run or walk.

Sometimes, I still do walk with friends.  And I enjoy it.  But there is also something wonderful about going out alone.  I love having the time to just think.  A time for reflection and (hopefully) inspiration.  After a good morning walk, I can come home feeling rejuvenated, despite feeling physically exhausted.  In typical mom style, I tend to ignore my needs day in and day out.  I take care of everyone else, I keep the system running.  I rarely take time for me.  Except for my walks.  That is the one thing I try to do for myself every day.  Sometimes it strikes me as ironic, that I make sure I get my walk, but let other activities which feed my soul fall by the wayside.  Walking gets higher priority than painting?  How'd that happen?  I'm sure it is because walking is easier to make happen.  I get up before anyone else.  I take the dog.  I go.  Trying to carve time out of the day to paint... not so easy.

Most mornings I walk to music.  I just have a cheap mp3 player, so I don't have play lists.  I just listen through all the songs I have saved on it, occasionally jumping around to find something that fits my mood.  The amazing thing to me is how often the songs that fit my "mood" are not your typical exercise music.  My best walks aren't usually done to the strong beat of a rock song, though I do have those on my player.  My best walks, whether they're the most memorable or the ones with the best "work outs", are usually accompanied by more mellow music: soundtracks, musicals, enya, josh groban, favorites from Ecuador, even some songs written by friends.  It's all music I find inspiring, so by the end of my walk I feel not only a physically good, but I feel my heart and soul have been uplifted as well.  One morning last week, I was trying to push myself up a steep trail.  I was ready for a little rest, but as we reached the curve and came round, "the Trees" from Medicine Man was playing and I looked ahead and saw the mountain, with a few rays of sun peaking through and I couldn't stop.  The moment was too powerful.  I managed the trail in amazing time that day. 

Some mornings I just listen to the morning.  The birds.  The quiet. The other morning we were up on the high trail and for a moment I focused on the roar of the freeway.  It's always there, but we tend to tune it out.  That constant hum of our fast paced world.  I tried to imagine what it would be like without it.  What it sounded like up there, years and years ago, when there weren't so many people in the valley.  Were the morning sounds roosters and cows?  How early did the tractors start up?  With so much physical work to do every day, people didn't have to go looking for exercise.  Did anyone even get up on the mountain to hear those morning sounds?

Just for the record, I do have a exercise goal for this summer.  Trigger and I are working on being able to walk from the house, to the top of the Y and back - quickly, without pausing at each switchback on the way up.  Ok, Trigger could already do it.  It's me who needs to get in better shape.  We've done the full hike once.  Now we're just working on getting faster up the switchbacks of shorter trails.  I have to have a long, free morning, to do the full hike.