the perfect house?

One of the myriad of "feedbacks"  I have received recently is that I live "in poverty".  Now I could go on and on about the irony of such a statement and give all kinds of logical and scientific evidence to contrary... but it would serve no purpose.  According to some people's way of thinking, I do live in poverty.  My home is below such-and-such a size, our income is below such-and-such, we don't have and/or do such-and-such things.  I would be hard pressed to change their minds on the subject.  And really.  Does it matter what they think?

Nope.

Only what I think on the subject.


So, one of the many things I've been contemplating is how I view my status in the race to acquire the things the world values... a big house, a big pay check, big vacations, expensive stuff, expensive clothes, expensive cars, expensive friends...  $$$$.

Sorry folks.  But I don't play that game.  Never really have.


Even as a teenager, "when hopes were high and life worth living", when I was full of dreams and idyllic views of the future, I didn't want what the world tells you will brings happiness.  I wanted a family and a modest home.  I wanted to stay home with my kids.  I wanted my kids to learn to work.  I would draw up plans for my "dream home".   I still have a small stack of house plans I drew up way back then.  They were pretty amazing.  I'd even plan the yards.  But surprisingly (to some people) those house plans aren't for big mansions.

Years ago, while we waited for this house, I made a list titled "My perfect house would have...".  I wanted to be sure I wasn't just settling for a this house because it was all I could afford.  The list was a composite of my dreams since childhood and the experiences I'd had thus far in raising a family, what I knew about how I handled life, housework, kids, etc.  The list codified the things I'd learned were TRULY important to me in real life, rather than what culture and marketing told me I should want and have.

Here it is....
-formal living room/library not open to "family space"
-eat-in kitchen large enough for extended family gatherings, lots of cabinets
-small bedrooms for kids, own rooms
-space for Tim's leather/pottery with a door I can close and not see the mess
-large yard for chickens, garden, flower beds, fruit trees and a large lawn in back for kids to run, bees for Tim
-green house/sun room, lots of plants and comfy chair for me
-laundry room
-good storage, cold storage for food
-2 baths
-at least one large tree
-character, not cookie-cutter
-fully fenced back yard
-separate family room
-fireplace/stove
-about 2000 sq ft
-payments we can easily afford


My house isn't an exact match.   I don't have everything on my list.  That means my house isn't perfect.  It isn't everything I wish I could have.  So, I should be miserable, right?  I should be unhappy because I can't even afford to get everything on my pathetic short list.  Right?  Nope.  I'd rather choose happy.  One thing I have learned is that if we wait for perfect, if we wait for things to be just the way we dreamed, we will never live, we will never be happy.  Happiness is about seeing what you do have, not what you don't.  It's about being grateful instead of comparing and competing.  So, instead of mourning my ownership of a mere .14 acres.... I milk every thing I can out of every square inch of my yard.  And I have chickens, garden, fruit trees, lawn for the kids to play, and flowers galore.  I have a yard that people envy.  I have a yard that lets me have and do pretty much everything I ever wanted... so why should I feel unhappy about it's size?

And so... sorry to tell you all, but if the world wants to label the way I live as poverty, so be it.  I'd rather live this "deprived" life and feel happy and fulfilled doing so, than join your silly rat race.