Frugal (part 7)

"Patience is a virtue"
We've all heard that. But why is patience a virtue? Why is learning to wait, without complaint, something to praise?

I won't try to address all the reasons here, but I would like to talk about how patience is a virtue when living a frugal life.

I've already addressed the fact that we live in a culture that struggles with entitlement. We have strange ideas about what we should have in our lives and when. Our culture is definitely one of immediate gratification. Hungry? Just pull up to the drive-through. And if it takes more than sixty seconds for the food to arrive we get frustrated. We want it ALL and we want it NOW. Hence the rampant problems with credit card debt and the existence of Rent-to-own stores. We are surrounded by the idea that we can have everything and anything we want. Charge it. Installment plan it. Steal it. But get it. Because if you don't have it, you are missing out, and could never be happy.

Those ideas go completely against the frugal mentality. Remember, a frugal mind has learned to distinguish wants and needs. It has learned to keep life simple. A frugal mind will be able to combat that instant gratification mentality.

Parenting experts are beginning to realize how much damage is being done by today's culture. They now emphasize teaching children "delayed gratification" - the idea that they have to wait or even *gasp* work for the things they want.

To some of you this may seem (once again) a "no brainer." But to others this may seem to be asking too much, but...
Surprise! You don't have to have it right NOW. There is very little in life you have to have right now... things like air, food, water, shelter and love. And even some of those you can go without for a little while. (go ahead, hold your breath for 30 seconds, you'll survive...)

And good things can happen when you learn to wait for the things you want.

First, you will live within your means. You will not purchase something until you have saved the money to truly afford it. You will have the patience to wait while you work and save for the things you want. You will save yourself the heartache of debt and monthly payments.

The first "big" purchase Beorn and I made was a piano. We took a page from my parents' book and decided to buy a piano as newlyweds, before other financial pressures came. So, we spent the first six months of our marriage saving every little bit and when we had enough we bought ourselves a used, upright grand that had been refinished by a local piano dealer. We paid $1000.00. That was a lot for poor newlywed college students to save up. The piano has been something for us to treasure ever since and has served as a visual reminder that yes, we can accomplish our goals.

Second, you will get the best price. Learning to wait for the things we want will help us save money, since we will be able to wait for the thing we want to go on sale or come down in price.

Many of you know about my kitchen. It has become a collection of vintage glass pieces. I love it. I feel I have been extremely blessed to be able to put such a room together while spending VERY little money. It's true. Every piece, the glass, the scroll work, everything I've added, has cost less than $3. Everything, that is, except for one glaring failure. I hope you will forgive me for the use of such a strong word, but I do see it that way. It was the idea that started it all. Once I decided I wanted my kitchen to sparkle (story is here), my fingers literally itched to get started. When it became clear I would have to make my own sun catchers, I ran off to the craft store the second I had the money (from babysitting) to buy beads. Now, don't get me wrong. I am very pleased with how my bead strings turned out. But looking back, I regret not waiting until beads went on sale. They go on sale every month or two, so it would have just been a matter of waiting a few weeks. Or I could have waited and bought the beads a few at a time, using the weekly 40% off coupons. If I had waited, the amount saved would have paid for everything else I've bought for the kitchen since. But, I couldn't wait, or better said, I didn't want to. That experience taught me I needed to be more patient and I have done much better ever since. Now I wait to find just the right piece at just the right price for my kitchen. If it's not exactly what I want, if I don't love it, or if the price is too high, I just wait. One wall has remained empty since May. Then, about a two weeks ago, I finally found just the thing - for $2! It is such a perfect fit, that my mother-in-law asked if it had always been there, and she just hadn't noticed it before. Learning to wait is what has allowed me to beautifully decorate my kitchen, while spending next to nothing.


Third, you will be protected from impulse buying. An impulse buy is when you purchase something without really thinking about it. They are a retailer's bread and butter. That what end cap displays are made for. Trust me, my husband has worked retail and has worked as a merchandiser for many years. The store is trying to get you to spend money. The more you spend, the better. Anything they can do to make you go "oooh, shiny!" and put it in your cart, they'll do it. Take a look in your cart the next time you go shopping. How many things are in there that you didn't come to the store to get? Yes, they may be things you can use, things that are cute or fun, things that even seem "needful." But by teaching yourself to wait, you give your other frugal skills time to kick in. You have time to question "is this a want or a need," time to question if it has a place in your home and in your life. Sometimes waiting is just stopping to think for a moment before you put anything in your cart. Sometimes it may be looking over everything before you get to check out and putting back those impulse buys. Or, for high ticket items, it should probably mean going home and sleeping on it. If you still want it the next day or the next week, it may be a purchase to consider. You should be especially careful when buying or bidding online. The Internet distances you from the whole "buying" process, making it easier to spend money without actually stopping to think about what you're doing.

One of my biggest and longest running impulse buys were Fisher Price Little People. It started when I found a set on sale for an amazing Black Friday price. It made a good Christmas present and the kids (and I) had a fun time playing with it. It brought back so many fond memories of playing with my siblings. We had an insane number of Little People growing up and it was so fun to get them ALL out and set up these elaborate communities all over our large family room floor. I wanted my kids to experience that joy. And so began my Little People fixation. I thought I was being "smart" about it - buying them on sale, on eBay, second hand. But the truth was they were all impulse buys. I never once stopped to think about what I was buying and why. I never stopped to look and see if the ones we had were even being used. Little People? In the cart. Figure style we don't have? Bid away! Not some of my most frugal moments. It was several years (and lots of money) later when I finally STOPPED and really looked at all our Little People. We had the insane number of sets, just like I wanted, but guess what... my kids rarely played with them. They didn't care about setting up cities all over the family room floor. I had spent all that money to try to recreate something that my kids didn't even care about. Needless to say, the Little People became some of the first "casualties of war" in my quest to simplify and be frugal. I am happy to report that we now only own one barn, one bus and a small plastic container of figures and accessories. They get played with OFTEN! How much money would I have saved over the years if I had been willing to be patient, if I had been willing to stop and think about those purchases? I was trying to provide my kids with "everything I had as a kid" - and it turned out they didn't even want it.

So, number seven: learn to wait.