Frugal (part 2)

A big part of living frugally is the idea of - Living Within Your Means. But before we can learn that skill, we must learn to change how our mind works. You have to change how you look at life, your paradigm - how you define what is "necessary". We live in a consumer culture. We live in an entitlement culture. We live in a culture that tells us that life should be easy, convenient and entertaining. If you truly want to live a frugal life, you have to change your view of the world and escape that mentality. When you truly do this, you will find that 90% of the things in your life are "unnecessary". That's right. You don't really need most of the things you think you do. In fact, you can live a happy, successful, and dare I say, normal life without most of the things our culture tells you are important. Being frugal doesn't mean going back to a pioneer lifestyle. You don't need to join the Amish. I believe God gave us modern conveniences for a reason, they are not inherently bad or evil.


Maybe this is something best explained with a concrete example:


My fridge.


Go to your local Sears or look online - browse through the home appliance section. Take a walk through the aisles of giant refrigerators. Standing in that showroom, it would seem that a 14 cubit foot fridge is pretty small. It'd be tough to squeeze all your food in that one, wouldn't it? What you really should be going for is that 25 cubit foot stainless one over there, right? Imagine. You'll be able to put everything and anything in that one. Yup. That's what you need.


Really? Need?

Now, it is not my intention to say big refrigerators are bad. I'm not trying to make you feel bad if you own one. Honestly, the size of your fridge doesn't matter. Just stop and think about it for a moment, though.


My fridge measures a whopping 9.5 cubit feet. It's my "1940's sized" fridge. It is one of the first things people comment on when they see my house. People exclaim over how tiny it is. How hard it must be to live with a fridge so small. Other, kind people offer help or suggestions on how to make space in our kitchen for a larger fridge. But, I don't want a larger fridge. It's not needed. Actually, I can go as far as to say I love my tiny fridge. It keeps my kitchen open, feeling much larger than it really is, and keeps one aspect of my life open - free of clutter and emotional weight.





We opted to get rid of the giant fridge left by the previous owners. That beast sat in the dining area and literally ate up half of the space. There was no way to fit a table for our family and a large fridge. So, we decided to buy a tiny fridge and put it back in the original position (our kitchen has the original cabinets, so it was pretty obvious where the fridge belonged and how small it needed to be). We wanted more freezer space than such a small fridge would give, so we also bought a tiny deep freezer for the laundry room. But guess what? Nine and a half cubit feet is enough. It easily holds all the food for a family of six. I can fit 4 or 5 gallons of milk in there, plus my stock of cheese, eggs, etc. It's true. We have to watch the number of condiments and how much "leftovers" we throw in there. But... isn't that a good thing. Doesn't a huge fridge just supply the space to store Tupperware full of green moldy somethings and jar after jar of condiments you never really use? So.... what size of fridge is truly "necessary"? How much of fridge size is really just a question of convenience, style, cultural expectations? We are "told" everyday that a big fridge is a must. But it isn't.

That is what I mean by questioning what you truly "need" in your life. A fridge is a need, but a big fridge isn't.




Advertising spends a lot of time and money teaching you that to be happy you need "newer, bigger, better, faster". You have to learn that you don't. You do not need those things to live. You do not need those things to be happy. Before you can live a frugal life, you have to be able to see the "things" in your life as unnecessary. They will not bring you lasting happiness. They can't. Your brain is hardwired to become acclimated to such things. To feel that rush of "joy" you will have to go out and get something "newer, bigger, better, faster" over and over and over.

Now, you can still have that new, faster computer or that beautiful, big, stainless fridge if you REALLY want it. You just have to lose the feeling that it was needed. It was a want. That is all. Wants are not bad things, as long as we recognize them for what they are and do not let them control our actions. When you recognize something as merely a want, you can take the time to decide if it is really something you want in your life (everything you bring into your home/life adds a burden or weight and has unintended consequences) and if it is something you can truly afford (buying on credit should be very cautiously done). I'll talk more about those ideas later.

So...
does a family of four need a 3000 sqft home?
does a family of seven?
do your kids need a game system?
do your kids need those toys?
do you need a laptop?
do you need a new car?
do you need tv?
do you need 500 cable channels?
do you need cable at all?
do you need that new outfit?
do you need to eat out?
do you need that RV, pool, etc?

Again, please remember I am not saying these things are bad or wrong or that you shouldn't have them in your life. All I am saying is that you must learn to look at them differently.

I have plenty of "wants" in my life - things that Beorn and I have chosen to bring into our life and home merely for the joy/fun/comfort/convenience etc. But the fact is that we have chosen to do so, understanding the role those things play in our life.

When you understand wants vs needs you can make sure your lifestyle is yours, not one imposed on you by the world. Your lifestyle will be based on your family's values and goals. You will not be swayed by "every wind" of advertising and culture. You will be able to free your life of mental and physical clutter and be better able to live within your means.

So... number two: learn to distinguish wants from needs