Sometimes it just hard to be mom. To have to be firm. To enforce rules because you know it is in the best, long-term, interest of the child. It is especially hard when that child has special needs and a tender heart. Bucket wrote this in his journal last night and brought it to me to read.
In the darkest regions of my head
are thoughts about you that you should dread
But I can't say them with my voice
so paper is my second choice.
I am myself. You can't change that
even though you try to do that.
But my brain works a lot differently
than yours. And you can see
that sometimes I feel like this (there's a pic)
and that (another pic)
my brain is not a large vat
and so, you see, when you answer me
when I'm sad or angry or feeling uneasy,
it feels like you are just saying then
something right out of your head,
not really the answer to my problem.
And now I'm through with this.
I did my best to give you my thoughts with some text.
Funny how something can be heart-warming and heart-breaking at the same time. I held him on my lap like a baby (that's getting harder to do) and we talked for a while. I hope he always remembers how much I love him.
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