That we may become one

This was the title of the lesson I taught today in Relief Society, based on the teachings of President Lorenzo Snow. One of the many blogging areas in which I am way behind is sharing some thoughts from the lessons I teach, so I'm going to try to catch up today.

I slightly changed the "tag-line" of the lesson and wrote it on the board:  "To form a lovely sisterhood, in which we should love one another as we love ourselves."  Although the lesson dealt with unity in many aspects of our lives, I wanted to focus on unity within our Relief Society.  I feel that we could change the face of the world if we could really tap into the power we have in that sisterhood.

Unity is defined as a condition of harmony or accord (agreement).  One definition of union is the growing together of severed parts.  I liked that visual - of each of us as separate parts, growing together.  With this idea of unity, of being "one" I drew a large circle on the board.  Then, as we discussed how we can experience unity in our Relief Society, I wrote words all around the perimeter of the circle - words that describe this unity we are striving for:
Unity
Sacrifice
Support
Service
Carrying
Non-judgmental
Sisterhood
Understanding
Strengthening
Harmony
Patience
Enfolded
Fellowship
Acceptance
Security
Alliance
Selflessness
Safety
Kindness
Friendship
Forgiveness
Together
Teaching
Growing
Zion
Encouragement
Trust
Happiness

We read quotes from the manual and several scriptures (Rom 12:5-6, Mosiah 18:21, 4 Ne 1:15-17, Moses 7:18).  

I shared an experience from when we moved to Blanding.  I knew, from living in Salmon, that it would take at least six months for anyone in this small town to decide to invest in me.  I had kind of just reconciled myself to the fact that it would take a long time to have any friends (like Lorenzo Snow says in the lesson - such relationships take action on BOTH sides).  One day I stopped by the Relief Society presidents home to drop something off or pick something up  - I don't remember the particulars.  Rather than merely "taking care of business" and sending me on my way, she instantly welcomed me in, and since they were working out in the garden, walked me out there and sat talking garden with me.  As we were chatting, a friend of hers came over.  Being the stranger in town, I was expecting introductions and was shocked when she quickly turned to her friend and said "this is my friend, **** (insert my name)."  She didn't say this is so-and-so, from my ward, or this is so-and-so, she's new in town, or this is so-and-so, her husband manages the ALCO.  No.  She claimed me from the first moment as a friend and I knew from that moment that I could claim HER as a friend - a fact that became invaluable as we jumped from trial to trial in the few months we lived there.

I also shared a story from a book I recently read (Love Life and See Good Days, by Emily Freeman).  The author and her children were staying with her mother while her husband was out of town.  Unfortunately, her mother's next door neighbor owned a large dog - a large dog who was unhappy being outside at night and seemed to have a real problem with cars driving by - he would bark at every set of headlights and kept the author (and her children) up all night.  The next morning she asked her mother how she could stand the neighbors dog barking all night.  Her mother didn't respond.  She went on to talk about noise ordinances, police, tickets... all the solutions she had come up with while she wasn't sleeping.  Her mother didn't respond.  She pressed her mother and her mother responded "I don't hear the dog", suddenly worried for her mother's sanity, she questioned further.  Her mom explained "that a few weeks earlier, the neighbor had called her on the telephone.  'I am calling to apologize for my dog,' the neighbor said.  'I know it must be a bother to you and your husband. But you need to know that I have a son, whom I adore, who is going through a really hard time right now.'  She explained that the counselor they were working with had suggested they get a dog to see if that would give her son something to live for, and somehow it was working.  'I am so sorry about the disturbance,' she said, 'but right now there is nothing else we can do.'  Then my mom looked across the table at me and said, 'So when the dog starts barking, I don't hear the dog.  What I hear is 'I have a son, whom I adore,' and the dog just doesn't bother me any more.'  ... Her willingness to love, rather than judge, had made a huge difference in the relationship between her and her neighbor... how important it is to offer love before we judge someone.  Sometimes just having an understanding heart is the greatest act of service we can perform." 

Unfortunately in life, we usually won't have access to those kinds of personal details - we won't know about the person's relationship with her husband, about struggles with their children, about health worries, etc... so it falls to us to remember that we don't know all the pieces, to give the benefit of a doubt, refrain from judging - - and just love her. 

I shared the Old Testament story of David and Jonathan, and having our "hearts bound together... as the heart of one".... that we can become "a mighty people" and changed the circle on the board to a heart.

Now, the list I made above is the ideal - the way Relief Society would work in a perfect world, if we all were perfect.  But we're not.  So... how do we work toward that ideal?   I took from the lyrics of "The order is love" and wrote in the center of the circle (now a heart) "A Little More Love".  We just need to show a little more love, a little more understanding, a little more patience, a little less judging... so our Relief Society sisterhood can be that safe place where we each can discover our weaknesses,  feel secure enough to grow, and know that we will still be loved if we fail.  Imagine how we each would change and grow with that kind of circle around us -

and changed women can change the world.